Bad and Good day during the Tour...

Grrr, I hate seeing those road bike things come out of the garage. Sometimes I'm sure that's all that Si, the ugly bald bloke that I live with thinks about! Thing is, when they're in play, I'm grounded. And that's not good. In fact that's really bad...

So a three week festival of road bike things called the Tour de France? That's DISASTROUS for a collie dog and no mistake...

I knew the above was true when I was incarcerated at home on the Thursday evening, given a patronising pat on the head and a token minging dry biscuit and left for four hours while the two foots (or should I now say TWO WHEELS...) beggared off to a Big Farm called Leeds to watch a load of anorexic blokes with shaved legs and wearing womens tights. When they got in at midnight, Si and Liz (my twofoots) insisted on watching the thing again on TV and exclaimed in delight everytime a stick insect man told the interviewer that he wanted to be on the podium (whatever that is...)

I knew I was DOUBLY right when I was bundled into the van on Friday night and driven up to Spiny and Jackie's house in the middle of nowhere. They've got two MASSIVE Alsatians who scare the hell out of a miniature collie like moi...

All right for them - I was hiding from the Alsations...
Seems the idea was to leave me with the two Alsatians and Jackie all next day while Spiny, Si and Liz went off in search of the stick men in tights and their silly bike machines. I know Jackie's got a field I can run around in but there's a bloody horse and thousands (well nine...) of sheep in it so I have to stay under the bed to keep them and the Alsatians off me. I love Si and the massive walks and runs and rides we go on but he can really disappoint me sometimes and this bike thing is his biggest weakness (although Liz says otherwise).

Anyway, they jollied off at SIX in the morning to drive and ride to Skipton and when they came back several millennium later they were full of themselves. "Froomey this and Cav that" was all you could get out of the eejits for several hours and then thank Lassie it was time to go home. But that wasn't the end of it. Oh no, it definitely wasn't the end of it...

OK, I got a big walk that night. But then I heard snatches of talking from Si on his tel-a-bone (I think that's what it's called anyway). "Yep, watching the Tour at Holme Moss tomorrow. Yes, probably be biking over. Gyp? Oh, I'll walk him in the morning and then he'll be right for the day..."

Well, that bloody did it. Another poxy day in the slammer for sure. Not playing this time. For starters, while I was still free on Pule Hill, I wasn't going to co-operate by coming back to cycle-groupie-baldie-git man and he could get stuffed if he thought otherwise...

Spin forward five minutes and cycle-groupie-baldie-git man had proved he was stronger than me by putting me in a paw lock. I was led firmly off into the VW jail-mobile and was now resigned to a fate worse even than wearing a cute little coat like a chihuahua. Back home and sleep took over but it was troubled and I woke Si and Liz up several times with dream-woofs and growls...

Lizzie the Tour Maker!
Come the morning and Si did one in the car to take Liz to Huddersfield where she actually had the gall to work as a Tour Maker at the poxy bike race from hell! To be fair, he then returned and took me for a token spin up on the moor but then disappeared off into the village for breakfast without me and came back smelling of sausages!

But then what's this? An old friend, Dave (G'day mate) Christensen tips up at our house with another strange dude in tow. They're not cyclists for sure. Then Si walks out of the garage in walking boots and carrying a rucsac with dog biscuits sticking out from the side pocket. And to top it all he's beckoning me towards the red "harness of adventure"... My tail is starting to be incredibly uncool. I don't want to show gratitude after the last two days but the damn thing is giving my increasingly happy demeanour away!

Now things are clear. I'm off to the Tour de France! I LOVE bike racing - did I tell you that?

We set off up Wessenden, my usual haunt during the week but at the top we carried straight on towards Black Hill. Wow, this was a big old run out! There were lots more people than I usually see on the tops and loads of kids and other dogs. I was fully aware of being a representative of the Mountainfeet shop so I looked on the other bottom sniffing, leg lifting mutts with disdain as I wove around them and trotted onwards up the hill.

At Holme Moss there was a multitude of people the like of which Si and I had never seen! But surely this is just a bike race I hinted to Si. Big mistake as for ten minutes he lectured me on the history and the (yawn) legend of this (yawn again) fabled event. Serves him right that passers by thought he was mad talking to his dog!

Anyway, we arrived on the hillside by the Holme Moss road along with literally THOUSANDS of others. And you know what? It was GREAT!!! Such a marvellous atmosphere amongst the two foots and their dogs as people sang and cheered as the procession went through ahead of the heroic riders (not stick men...) who fought with every breath to be first up that mighty climb. Ah, I should be a commentator on DTV1 (Dog Television One) with an oratory like that! (Si's just told me to stop being a clever arse or he'll throw me off the computer).

Anyway, now you'll see the relevance of the title of this blog. My views on bike racing have changed for the better but I still prefer Si to get his mountain bike out rather than the thing with curly handlebars. One leads to fun and adventure (not to mention some serious mud) and the other still means only one thing. Incarceration...

Anyway, here are a few more pics for you...

My first Tour de France and I'm in a great place for watching the race!

It was mad when the riders came through!

Got a bit bored waiting for the action to happen...

So many people making the exodus over the moors to Holme Moss.

Me and Si are best friends again now...

Team Sky - Si cheers most for these guys as he wears their team strip when riding!

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